A digital virgin shows how to reignite old love affairs.
Ubuntu: You bet!
Being an author I’m genetically perfected to accept setbacks, rejection and disappointment and that’s just making a trip to Walmart. Now and again something happens in life to restore my pre-birth default setting of optimism and belief.
Spending a lot of my life tapping at the screen I’ve gotten through a few digital partners. Male hardware gets a bit shabby but holds up while the micro atoms of the soft porn operating system in their heads end up with psychological viruses and abandoned by the gods who created them. I learned to live with a plain and simple old guy of 95. He was steady enough until they kicked away his walking cane. I left him for dead and took up with Vista. He gave me a wider outlook but one day he crashed. I moved on to Windows 10. He’s tricky, complex and suffers from the blues. I knew there was something going on – he was updating with a younger server somewhere. Behind my back he wiped out my connection and told me I no longer had a valid address. I ditched him. I’m not the kind of girl who can eat off a command prompt menu. If I’d wanted to log in as an administrator I’d have gotten a job at the town hall. The bodies piled up. If I could sell a few more books I could bite that forbidden fruit – an Apple.
Digitally speaking I’m a Ancient Geek. I believe in Zeus and oracles. A voice came to me and whispered “Linux” in my ear. For a while I thought it was a secret formula for Freemasons. The gods told me I could be the new goddess Freya of rebirth and immortality. A Wagner fan like me had to listen. An Amazon woman delivered unto me the gift of life on a stick. I dressed in my goddess overalls of white silk and opened the tomb. One by one I inserted the USB of life into the corpses of my deceased lovers. One by one they rose up. So far there’s no rivalry in my menage a quatre.
I feel like a queen of the noble Ubuntu tribe, not knowing which warrior to caress. I’m writing this is on an old Dell Optiplex GX520 who became incontinent about two years ago. (Far left with small Cyclops green eye). One night he staggered out for an XP and couldn’t get his program to respond.
I know, I know, all those hunky sexy tech types already knew about this stuff – but I didn’t. It’s free and it’s there to help you.
Emma Thinx: If it seems too good to be true it’ll be running Linux.
